Portfolio Project Third Reflection: Changes in the Script

     I finished writing the script a bit ago and a lot has changed, not only for how the dialogue in the opening is, but for how its paced and how much information is given to the audience. I will talk about that first since that part isn't as long.

    The reason I realized I had to heavily simplify it was because I did a table read with the actors while timing it, I realized it went over two minutes so I just kept the first section of the opening with about 10 seconds of the other part. This meant that I had to change how the scene was in the second part, but I didn't change any dialogue I just deleted most of it and changed the shots in the storyboard to deliver visual exposition faster.    

    The dialogue had huge changes, the first draft, while also being longer, was written with the idea of having two normal adults conversating before getting interrupted. With this idea in mind I wrote a conversation where the two characters talk about their jobs before the assassination on one of them occurs. Much of the dialogue consisted of things relating to my father's job since I would have a decent idea of what they would say and would be able to ask my father about certain things. This draft of the script had things mentioning their review of other countries and how they had to fix communication towers. They also talked about their at home work like having to use multiple computers to keep things organized. The assassin would then come up and kill one of them, leading to obvious panic and screams around them. Once I changed it with teenagers in mind and simplified version where one of the characters was assassinating the other I could shorten the conversation heavily while also providing a steady increase in tension instead of an abrupt confusion at the end. This made the conversation lean more towards the personality of those characters and what they know. The assassin is now shown to like to play with his targets, starting the conversation in the new version with "These people, no decency." When he refers to a cup left over on the table. He goes on as if it were a normal conversation while the other is clearly nervous. 

    The other character instead of being another forgettable character similar to the first was now an extremely nervous person that, hopefully, would intrigue viewers. He has nervous chuckles and looks away while having rambling sentences like "I, uh, am on break and I need to get back to the office soon, speaking of that thank you for reminding me."

    I personally think this version of the script is much better and not just for story purpose but for filming too.